1. THINK BEFORE YOU SPEAK
   • In the heat of the moment, it’s easy to say something you’ll later regret. Take a breath and take a few moments to collect your thoughts before saying anything. And allow the others involved in the situation to do the same.
2. ONCE YOU ARE CALM, EXPRESS YOUR THOUGHTS AND CONCERNS
   • As soon as you’re thinking more clearly, express your frustration in an assertive but non-confrontational way. State your concerns and needs clearly and directly without intentionally hurting others or trying to control them.
3. GET SOME EXERCISE
   • Physical activity can help reduce stress that can cause you to become angry. If you feel your anger escalating, go for brisk walk or run. Or spend some time doing other enjoyable physical activities to preemptively minimize stress or anger.
4. TAKE A TIME OUT
   • Time Outs aren’t just for kids or sports players. Give yourself short breaks during times of the day that tend to be stressful. Finding even a few moments of quiet time might help you feel better prepared to handle what’s coming ahead in either your work day or home life that might cause agitation or irritation.
5. IDENTIFY POSSIBLE SOLUTIONS
   • Instead of focusing on what made you mad, work on positive actionable solutions to the problem. Identify the cause of your anger and figure out how to move forward instead of dwelling on what can’t be changed. And you do not always need to be right.
6. STICK WITH “I” STATEMENTS
   • Criticizing or placing blame might only increase tension. Instead, try using “I” statements to describe the problem and how if affects you. For example, you could say “I am upset that you left the table without offering to help clear the dishes” instead of “You always leave me with a mess”. Be respectful and specific and allow others to respond with similar “I” statements.
7. DON’T HOLD A GRUDGE
   • Forgiveness is a powerful tool. If you allow anger and other negative feelings to crowd out positive feelings, you might find yourself swallowed up by your own bitterness or sense of injustice. Forgiving someone who angered you might help you both learn from the situation and strengthen the relationship.
8. USE HUMOR TO RELEASE TENSION
   • Lightening up can help diffuse tension. Use humor to help you face what’s making you angry and, possibly, any unrealistic expectations you have for how things should go. However, avoid sarcasm, though, it can cause hurt feelings and make things worse.
9. PRACTICE RELAXATION SKILLS
   • When your temper flares, put relaxation skills to work. Practice deep-breathing exercises, imagine yourself in a relaxing place or scene, or repeat a calming word or phrase, such as “take it easy”, “let’s take a breath” or “calm down”. You could also listen to music, write in a journal, stretch or do a yoga pose – whatever it takes to center yourself and encourage relaxation.

MAYO CLINIC